IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph compares employement rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares employement rates in three sectors of the economy, in the UK, 2000-2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given graph demonstrates how the working
rates
Use synonyms
 in three
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 sectors have been changing
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, public and self-employed employment
rates
Use synonyms
 fluctuated a bit during the whole
period
Use synonyms
 and showed an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the work
rates
Use synonyms
 for the private
sector
Use synonyms
 downward
one
Check wording
trend
show examples
. In terms of the lowest
sector
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, self-employed, it started with just below 20, and slightly rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 20 by 2002.
While
Linking Words
 the
rates
Use synonyms
 for the public
sector
Use synonyms
 remained steady throughout the first 2 years, with
rates
Use synonyms
 around 38. In terms of
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, there has been a decrease from just under 50 to approximately 42 by 2002. In the next year, it levelled off with about 42
rates
Use synonyms
 as in 2002.
Rates
Use synonyms
 for the public
sector
Use synonyms
 started to show visible changes
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 there has been an increase after stable
rates
Use synonyms
 from around 38
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to just under 50
Use synonyms
rates
Check wording
apply
show examples
by 2005.
However
Linking Words
, it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 experienced
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 by 2006, from around 48 to approximately 35
rates
Use synonyms
. After that, it started to gradually grow through the next 4 years, reaching its peak by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, remaining just over 50.
Rates
Use synonyms
 for the self-employed
sector
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
startes
Correct your spelling
started
 to fluctuate from 2002 to 2006, from 20 to around 25. In the next 3 years, it gradually grew to 30
rates
Use synonyms
, remaining stable amount of
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 by the end.
Private
Correct article usage
The private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, which showed a downward trend, started to decrease significantly after its stable
amount
Check wording
rate
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
rates
Check wording
apply
show examples
about 42 to 20
rates
Use synonyms
 by the end of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, period, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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