IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solution?

It is believed that nowadays
people
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 are less competent in working in groups, a feature that in the past was thought to be
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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 and natural human ability.The use of social media and the luxury of working and studying from home
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 made individuals less able to interact in real life .In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will
exlpore
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explore
 some causes and
purpose
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propose
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 solutions . To start
of
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off
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, as the internet advances
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 are more
tempteted
Correct your spelling
tempted
 to stay on their phone
instead
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 of going out .
Also
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 ,
Inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 tend to find it easier and less awkward to communicate through screens.
This
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 leads to less human social interaction, ultimately
effecting
Use the right word
affecting
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 their personality and communication skills.
This
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 not only has a negative effect on their personal life but
also
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 on their ability to cooperate with workmates .I believe that individuals should be aware of themselves and try to push
them selves
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themselves
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 into uncomfortable situations ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will build their personality and interactive skills . Another cause may be that many schools and companies have turned to online teaching and working to cut costs .
While
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 in the past these were the common places to meet
people
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 in the same field and exchange ideas ,nowadays
this
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 is no longer possible .
As a result
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 , it is more difficult to meet individuals with the same interests and exchange valuable information and ideas .It is the
admistation's
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administration's
resposibility
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responsibility
 to tackle
this
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 issue by
organizning
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organising
 various events for
people
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 to interact and get to know each other. In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 technology and education are advancing ,some skills
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as group
Replace the word
work
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working
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working,
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 are left behind
resulting
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, resulting
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into
Change preposition
in
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 less competent employees.Thankfully ,it is a manageable issue that can be solved by
self development
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self-development
show examples
 and the appropriate handling by
people
Use synonyms
 responsible for the teams.

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grammar
Fix spelling and write full words. Many words are misspelled; check 'start', 'explore', 'tempted', 'individuals', 'adminstration' and other common words.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joins. Use 'first', 'then', 'also', 'for example', and 'however' to show how ideas go together.
content
Give more on how the causes make workers not work well with others. Add clear facts from work life or school to show the fix.
planning
Plan your piece before you write. Make one intro, two body parts on causes and fixes, then a short ending.
vocabulary
Use common words for job talk. Keep to top 100 words and use one form of words.
structure
The topic is clear and the task is talked about.
language
Simple words are easy to read.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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