IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie chart below shows where energy consumption is used in a typical Australian household, and the table source the amount of electricity used according to the number of occupants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparison very relevant

The pie chart illustrates the rate of energy consumption
usage
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apply
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in a typical Australian household,
while
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 the table demonstrates the amount of
electricity
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 used
according to
Linking Words
 the number of occupants.
Overall
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, the overwhelming majority of household energy
use
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 in Australia is comprised of heating and cooling,
whereas
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 the lowest fraction is made up of standby power.
On the other hand
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, as the number of people in the house increases , the
use
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 of
electricity
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 per
year
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 rises. Looking at the pie chart in more detail, heating and cooling comprise the biggest share of household energy
use
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, at 38%.
This
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 is followed by water heating, at 25%, and by other appliances, at 16%. Meanwhile, lighting and fridges and freezers account for a similar rate of 7%.
Furthermore
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, the smallest part of the pie chart is made up by cooking and standby power, at 4% and 3%, respectively. Turning our attention to the table, the amount of
electricity
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 per
year
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 utilised by a person is 5,000-6,500 kWh per
year
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. As the number of people in the house increases, the amount of
electricity
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 used per
year
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 rises.
That is
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 why 6 or more people
use
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 12,000-16,000 kWh of
electricity
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 per
year
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.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, use, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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