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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map shows the change of a village called Chorleywood between 1868 and 1994.

The map diagram illustrates
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the transformations of a rural area known
Chorleywood
Change preposition
as Chorleywood
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 , by transforming
of
Change preposition
apply
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3 main transportation
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
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, causing various changes, during the period 1868 and 1994.
Overall
Linking Words
, though the diagram
trends
Verb problem
shows
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 the development in Chorleywood, the most
popularity
Replace the word
popular
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 seen
after
Verb problem
was after
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 the development of
motorway
Correct article usage
the motorway
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 and railways. To commence, during the
perios
Correct your spelling
period
 1868 to 1883 ,it is noticed
only
Correct word choice
that only
show examples
Correct article usage
the
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main road in
Correct article usage
the extrem
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extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
 left north
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 major improvement is found
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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on
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 north right side,
in
Change preposition
from
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 1883 to 1922. After
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of the
motor way
Use the right word
motorway
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, in the
north
Use the right word
north-south
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south
Check wording
direction
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, with
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
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, there is
sutainable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
 growth found.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand,in 1909 when railways were
build
Replace the word
built
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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drastic changes
noticed
Verb problem
were noticed
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 during the period 1970 to 1994, in
Correct article usage
the south
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south east
Fix capitalization
South East
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.
However
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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,
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 was quite increasing in the south east from
earlier
Correct article usage
the earlier
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 four periods.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transformation
  • infrastructure
  • recreational areas
  • conservation efforts
  • commercial areas
  • technological advancements
  • demographic shifts
  • preservation
  • historical buildings
  • evolution
  • residential areas
  • public services
  • economic changes
  • green spaces
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