IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the percentage of the population living in cities in the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2040.

The chart exhibits details about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 in four
south east
Use the right word
Southeast
show examples
 Asian countries living in cities/urban
between
Check wording
areas between
show examples
 1970 and 2020, with
Linking Words
further
Correct article usage
a further
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20
Correct your spelling
20-year
years
Use synonyms
 forecast.
Overall
Linking Words
, all 4 cities
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had an increasing tendency in the
percentage
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 of the
population
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it was predicted that it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 keep rising in the next 20
years
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of
1970s
Correct article usage
the 1970s
show examples
,
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 occupied the largest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in cities, about 32%. Followed by Malaysia, it
only had
Correct word order
had only
show examples
 2% less than
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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. And there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 not
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 difference between
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and Indonesia, 18% and 14% respectively.
these
Fix capitalization
These
show examples
 four countries both had a gradual
increasing
Check wording
increase
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 from 1970 to 1990. In the next 30
years
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, Indonesia experienced a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 explosion, its
percentage
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over took
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overtook
show examples
Thailand
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000 and
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2020.
Finally
Linking Words
 reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the second position.
Malaysia
Check wording
Malaysia's
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 climbed at a faster rate from 1990 to 2020 than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past 20
years
Use synonyms
, and became
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top of the country who possess most
value of
Replace the word
valuable
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 citizens. Meanwhile,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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 remained stable, fluctuating at 49% and 30% respectively. The prediction indicates that both of these countries’
population
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 remains increasing
tendency
Check wording
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 Malaysia comes
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 first position, followed by Indonesia,
philippine
Correct article usage
the philippine
show examples
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 regularly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, population, years, philippines, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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