IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The given bar graph illustrates the percentage of homes that were owned and rented in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that at the beginning of the 20th century, people liked to live in their own apartments and
at the end
Linking Words
 of the reporting period,
citizen’s
Check wording
citizens’
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 preference changed, and began to live in rented
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 in England and Wales. In 1918, around 22% people lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rented houses,
whereas
Linking Words
 close to 80%
resident’s
Check wording
residents
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 preferred owning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homes. From 1918 to 1971, the tendency of rented accommodation kept increasing and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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a point in 1971, when rented and owned houses
percentage
Check wording
apply
show examples
was equal at 50%
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 meanwhile, the owned
apartment’s movement
Check wording
apartments
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 saw the opposite direction. From onward, inhabitants rented more
housed
Replace the word
houses
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 than owned
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 keeps escalating and reached its peak in 2001 (approximately 80%),
whereas
Linking Words
 at the same time the owned
housed
Replace the word
houses
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
 reached its lowest point, which was just over 30%. In the
last
Linking Words
 ten years, the
trend
Use synonyms
 of
owned
Wrong verb form
owning
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condo
Correct article usage
a condo
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 has slightly increased.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the rented
trend
Use synonyms
 saw a minimal
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 (just over 60%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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