IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe every university student has the right to choose and study whatever they want. Others argue that these
students
Use synonyms
 should be required to learn subjects that are related to
technology
Use synonyms
, which is useful in the future.
Although
Linking Words
 learning subjects about
technology
Use synonyms
 can help
students
Use synonyms
 gain more chances to find
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the future, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 need to respect
students
Use synonyms
' own choices because doing whatever they like can make them more energetic for their
jobs
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, science and
technology
Use synonyms
 have become extremely popular around the world, which means
students
Use synonyms
 who study these subjects can find
jobs
Use synonyms
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
 after graduation.
For example
Linking Words
, because the demand for scientists is
larger
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
 than the demand for artists, many universities in the world are famous for their engineering programs, and only a few universities are famous for their art programs.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because when
people
Use synonyms
 do
jobs
Use synonyms
 that they do not like, they turn to become less energetic and can not focus on work, which may cause
further
Linking Words
 mental issues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 can learn knowledge and choose
jobs
Use synonyms
 that they enjoy, they have more energy to keep working and make
contributions
Use synonyms
. If
students
Use synonyms
 can learn whatever they like and do their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
, they will put more effort into it and try their best to make
contributions
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 who choose to learn art and music have trouble
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finding
jobs
Use synonyms
, they do not regret their decisions. Once they find
jobs
Use synonyms
, they put more effort into
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and become more successful than
people
Use synonyms
 who have to do things they dislike. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
people
Use synonyms
 can become energetic and make more
contributions
Use synonyms
 when they do their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 who learn science and
technology
Use synonyms
 can find
jobs
Use synonyms
easier
Correct word choice
more easily
show examples
 and make
contributions
Use synonyms
 earlier, I believe we need to respect every student's choice because
people
Use synonyms
 can work harder when they can do things they like.

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task
Make your view clear in the intro and keep it in all parts.
structure
Write a short topic sentence for each paragraph and end with a main idea.
content
Give clear and real examples that fit the point you make.
grammar
Check form and word use to avoid errors.
content
You show a real wish to argue for your own view.
structure
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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