IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Job satisfaction is more important than earning a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Individuals have different criteria to seek a
job
Use synonyms
, so someone
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that having an enjoyable career is much
criticial
Correct your spelling
critical
 than higher income.
However
Linking Words
, both of them are significant in the requirements of finding a
job
Use synonyms
. I would
exlpain
Correct your spelling
explain
 my perspectives in
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
. On the one hand, the happiness of mankind can be determined by
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. Most of mankind can find
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of
beloning
Correct your spelling
belonging
 and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of achievement in their career.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student is able to
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
show examples
 to university or reach their own goal. Their teachers are proud of their pupil for having a great success.
However
Linking Words
, high
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 cannot bring
this
Linking Words
 sense of accomplishment to these mentors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social and moral status cannot be bought
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 money. To illustrate, a doctor can cure a patient.
However
Linking Words
, money cannot purchase a person's health. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people would respect and be thankful
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 doctors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, numerous labourers earn
miserable
Correct article usage
a miserable
show examples
 salary,so the majority of employees cannot sustain their daily
life
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their income.
Thus
Linking Words
,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary can solve their basic needs.
For instance
Linking Words
,
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 low-income factory workers in China are not able to afford
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
food and living. Their quality of
life
Use synonyms
 can be improved if increasing their
liveihood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
plenty
Check wording
large number
show examples
 of patients cannot receive sufficient and suitable treatments
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of devoid of money. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, many citizens are not able to pay the medical insurance
due to
Linking Words
paid by
Verb problem
their low
show examples
 minimum salary. So, getting
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 acceptable income can improve their
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both requirements play a vital role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
job
Use synonyms
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
. Getting a
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
 career can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 your mental needs, but it may not provide a better
life
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 you.

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language
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes. Use short, plain sentences so the text is easy to read.
structure
Make your view clear in the first part. Then write two parts that show both sides, and finish with a short clear line.
content
Give more real facts or examples that fit the idea. Use simple numbers or clear cases to show your point.
content
The writer tries to talk about both sides of the topic.
structure
Two main parts show a contrast between job joy and pay.
content
The topic is kept close to what the task asks.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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