IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar graph demonstrates the proportion of the Australian population in different age groups who
do
Verb problem
engage in
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 constant physical activity in 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, the figures for women are higher
in
Change preposition
across
show examples
 all different
ages
Check wording
groups
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 compared to males. Noting that women aged 45-54 are the most active, whilst younger men aged 15-24 are in the top. The percentage of ladies' activity is gradually increasing
while
Linking Words
 getting older, except
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 drops nearly 6% for those aged 65 and above by approximately 74%
In contrast
Linking Words
, male activity started to decrease sharply for those aged 15 to 44,
then
Linking Words
 it continued to increase slightly with time until it
hits
Wrong verb form
hit
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 the
second highest
Use the right word
second-highest
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 peak by 46.7%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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