IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

In many countries girls score higher in examines than boys in high school, even in the sciences. Yet in these same countries boys are more likely to have careers as scientist. Why do you think more boys become scientists than girls? Should the government and university offer incentives for girls to take up careers in science?

4.The authors conclude that, in
this
Linking Words
 IMQ psoriasis mouse study,
IL-
Use synonyms
17 is linked mainly to
cells
Use synonyms
 in the outer epidermis, not to T
cells
Use synonyms
 or myeloid
cells
Use synonyms
. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
note
Replace the word
noted
show examples
, “KC expression of
IL-
Use synonyms
17RA is critical” for full skin inflammation. The skin looks milder in these mice. Redness is lower
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 neutrophils are few. Yet monocytes are still present. In their Cre
mice
Add a comma
mice,
show examples
 they say they” exclude T
cells
Use synonyms
 and macrophages/neutrophils as
IL-
Use synonyms
17 targets” and point to
Use synonyms
IL-17-senstiive
Correct your spelling
IL-17-sensitive
cells
Use synonyms
 in
squamous
Correct article usage
the squamous
show examples
 layer. They
also
Linking Words
 report that”
IL-
Use synonyms
22 was not up-regulated” in mice with no
IL-
Use synonyms
17 signal in these
cells
Use synonyms
. They link
this
Linking Words
 to
Use synonyms
IL-17-senstive
Correct your spelling
IL-17-sensitive
cells
Use synonyms
 that bring in, or give rise to,
IL-
Use synonyms
22-releasing
cells
Use synonyms
 in the skin.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Add a short intro that says what you will talk about and end with a clear conclusion.
coherence
Use clear links to join ideas (and, but, then, so) to show how points go together.
language
Check spelling and keep to easy words. Use simple form and avoid long, hard words.
content
Give one or two clear examples from the study to show the point.
content
The text shows real facts from the study.
content
The main idea is easy to see in parts of the text.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: