IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The bar tart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The graph illustrates the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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constant body activity for the Australian population, based on different age
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
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 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, women in Australia are more active the men in almost all groups, except that young males aged 15 to 24 are higher
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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 females. Males tend to do more physical activity as they grow older. Females aged 45 to 54 ranked the
highes
Correct your spelling
highest
 compared to other age groups, but as they get older, the percentage starts to slightly fall till it becomes 47.1% in
age
Correct article usage
the age
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 65 and above
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is the lowest. Males
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 contrast, they're more energetic in their early adulthood by 52.8%, but it's going to follow that a sharp decrease
in
Verb problem
will occur in
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 the upcoming years, noting that
men
Check wording
men's
show examples
 activity will continue to rise.

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task
Task response: say what the chart shows in a clear, easy way. name the big points. do not add facts not in the chart. give a short overall idea.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: put ideas in a clear order. start with a simple intro, then describe each age group, then end with a short summary. use easy linking words such as and, but, also, then, so.
content
There is a real try to show men and women in many ages.
content
Some data from the chart is used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
What to do next:
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