IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart illustrates the
percentage
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 of women enrolled in higher education in five different countries - the UK, the USA,
Australia
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, South Korea, and
France
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 - in 1980 and 2015. 
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the rates for
Australia
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 and
France
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 show a little fluctuation.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries have a significant increase over the period.  Focusing on the figures that show a little change, there are only two countries -
Australia
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 and
France
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. The data for
Australia
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 remained relatively stable in both years, which was about 58%. As for the rate for
France
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, in 1980, the rate was around 50% and rose to 54% in 2015.
This
Linking Words
 gap was only around 4
percentage
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point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
.  Turning to the proportions that represented a noticeable rise, the figure for the UK started about 35% in 1980 and rose to 55% in 2015, representing an increase of 20
percentage
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point
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points
show examples
. The
percentage
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 for the USA was 38% in 1980 but surged to 56%, which was a substantial increase. The
numbers
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number
show examples
 of women going into higher education in South Korea started
only
Change preposition
at only
show examples
 17% in 1980. By 2015, the figure was around 30%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, australia, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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