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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares
about
Change preposition
apply
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the proportion of females pursuing higher
education
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2015 for five
countries
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:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
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australia
Fix capitalization
Australia
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, South
Korea
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 and France. At a glance, the trends in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 are almost mirror each other. Female participation in higher
education
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 in
Australia
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 remains
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 between 1980 and 2025,
whereas
Linking Words
 in France, there is a slight increase between the two years. South
Korea
Use synonyms
 has the least female participation in higher
education
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amongst
Change preposition
among
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 all the
countries
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 in comparison. In
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, about 35% of higher
education
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 students were represented by females compared to a little above 50% in 2025. In
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, a little
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 than 40% of the students were
women
Use synonyms
 in 1980
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 contrast to slightly
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 than 60% in 2015. Australian female
representation
Use synonyms
inhiger
Correct your spelling
in higher
education
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 was a little
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 than 60% for both 1980 and 2015.
Thus
Linking Words
, both
Australia
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 and
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 had similar female topography in higher
education
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 in the year 2015. Approximately 50% of the French
representation
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 in higher
education
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 was by
women
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 in 1980
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 increased to a little above 50% in 2015. South
Korea
Use synonyms
 has the least female
representation
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 in higher
education
Use synonyms
 amongst all the
countries
Use synonyms
 discussed
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 approximately 15% in 1980 and increasing to 30% in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
countries
Use synonyms
 have an increasing trend in
Use synonyms
women
Check wording
women's
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 participation in
highe
Correct your spelling
higher
education
Use synonyms
. South
Korea
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 portrayed the highest increase in percentage
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 though the absolute number remained lower,
while
Linking Words
Australia
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 depicted no change in percentage in the
women
Use synonyms
's
representation
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 in higher
education
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, countries, usa, australia, korea, women, representation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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