IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the total population and the proportion of nales and females aged 15 and aged 75 in the UK from 1911 to 2011.

The table
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 information about the total
population
Use synonyms
 of the UK and the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 aged 15 and 75 in the years 1911, 1961 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the whole UK
population
Use synonyms
 experienced
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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rose
Replace the word
rise
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. The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 75 increased over the period,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 15 years old slightly declined. In 1911, the
population
Use synonyms
 was 36.1 million
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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youngers
Replace the word
young people
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 formed 1.86% , approximately 335
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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both
Punctuation problem
, both
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 for boys and girls. In 1961
population
Use synonyms
 grew to 46.1 million, but
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 of children aged 15 fell to 1.48%. The figure for total
population
Use synonyms
 continued to increase
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 its peak in 2011, with 56.1 million
people
Use synonyms
.
Opposite
Correct article usage
The opposite
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 was for
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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 of
15-age
Correct word choice
the 15-year-old
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 group
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
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 to 1,23% in
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 year.
Situation
Correct article usage
The situation
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 was different for
people
Use synonyms
 aged 75. The figure was only 0,23% in the early 20 century, around 34
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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 men and 47
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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 women. In 1961 figure
up
Verb problem
was up
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 to half
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 (0,55%).
Use synonyms
Proportion
Correct article usage
The proportion
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 for old men and women
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 0,70% in 2011.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, proportion, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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