IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 wor

The chart depicts the information about the employment of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in seven different departments in Australia
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly that men
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 ratio in every department except professional and clerical.
Boy's
Check wording
Boys'
show examples
 enrollment was
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 over the year compared to girls.Men's lowest fraction was
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 labourers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
womens
Correct your spelling
women
 showed more interest in clerical and professional
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 were around 10,00,000 and 700000
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the fraction of male persons as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
, production,
clerical
Correct word choice
and clerical
show examples
 was 600000, 5500000 and 8800000. The department of trade persons more occupied by men than women. Eventually,
curical
Correct your spelling
the curricula
 and professional
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
comprised
Verb problem
were comprised
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 girls.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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