IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the main reasons workers chose to work from home and the hours males and females worked at home for the year 2019.

The bar chart illustrates the
porportions
Correct your spelling
proportions
 of main
reasons
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 for working from
home
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, and the table provides information about
percentages
Correct article usage
the percentages
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 of
hours
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 worked from
home
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 in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, saving money became the most popular
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 for both
males
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 and
females
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for worked
Change preposition
to work
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 remotely from
home
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adult
males
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 tend to
did
Verb problem
work
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 more
hours
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worked
Verb problem
apply
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from
home
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rather
Rephrase
apply
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than
females
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2019, the most popular
reasons
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 for both
males
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 and
females
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 to
worked
Wrong verb form
work
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 remotely from
home
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 were to save
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 money with more than 40 per
cent
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. In productivity
reasons
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, men accounted for 24 per
cent
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, higher than women with 11 per
cent
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, more than 26 per
cent
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 of
females
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 worked from
home
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 because they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 to take of of their children,
while
Linking Words
 only 4 per
cent
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 of
males
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have
Wrong verb form
had
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 the same reason.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 74 per
cent
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 of
females
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 worked under 10
hours
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 per week, 70 per
cent
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 higher than
males
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. Both
males
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 and
females
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 who worked 10 to 30
hours
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 per week accounted
by
Change preposition
for
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 less than 25 per
cent
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. More than 81 per
cent
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males
Change preposition
of males
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 worked more than 30
hours
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 per week,
while
Linking Words
females
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 only accounted for 6 per
cent
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, home, hours, males, females, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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