IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

The leadership teams in the more influential companies and franchises tend to gain significantly more monetary earnings compared to other employees within or outside of the organisations.
Although
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 there are some opinions claiming the necessity of
this
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 phenomenon, I disagree and argue that
this
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 norm is in need of change. The company directors are earning dramatically bigger wages at the expense of other workers'
life
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quality. In a fixed timeframe, the increase in wages of the leaders usually outweighs the growth in
the
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economic production on an aggregate level.
This
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 comparison means that the company executives are taking away valuable capital resources from the other employees or ordinary workers in other industries, which could have enhanced their financial security.
Hence
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, the
wage
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 difference contributes to the worsening of other individuals' life quality and life outcomes. In the third
paragraph
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paragraph,
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 I argued that the enormous
wage
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 disparity entrenches inequality and inequity. I developed
this
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 argument by saying that
the
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modern society has developed into governing structures that are built on political ideologies and ethical philosophies, so not only is efficiency in economic growth valued, but fairness and equality of the distribution of resources are
also
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 valued.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 inequality and unfairness were found to lower people's wellbeing, so the
wage
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 disparity perpetuates inequality and is inherently unethical.
Although
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 some people have argued that the executives should earn a much higher
wage
Use synonyms
due to
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 being in charge of more responsibilities at a higher stake, in conclusion, I still hold onto my stance that the large
wage
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 disparity is inherently negative and should be changed by public policies.

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structure
Plan a clear four part essay: intro, one view, the other view, then a clear finish.
lexical
Use only simple words. Avoid hard or long words.
content
Give one or two real examples to back up your point.
cohesion
Use good linking words to show how ideas fit together.
task response
The writer shows a clear view and says why they disagree.
cohesion
There are linking words that help the idea to move on.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compensation
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • specialized skills
  • investment
  • income disparity
  • undervalued
  • demotivated
  • excessive compensation
  • misallocation of resources
  • pay ratio
  • motivated workforce
  • financial success
  • performance
  • contribute
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