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Writing Samples
Band 7

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

The pie charts illustrate the average household allocations in several categories between Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the biggest distribution of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in Japan was Other goods and services,
while
Linking Words
 Housing was the most popular
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia. Evidently, both countries had a similar
proportion
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 of Healthcare, which was the lowest among other categories.
To begin
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 with, 29 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of people in Japan spent their money on Other goods and services
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 in household expenditures.
Secondly
Linking Words
, housing
expenditure
Use synonyms
 reached 21 per
cent
Use synonyms
, followed by transportation and Food Respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Health care was the lowest
proportion
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 of household
expenditure
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 with 6 per
cent
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. In Malaysia, 34 per
cent
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 of households spent on Housing, the biggest
proportion
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 of their expense.
In addition
Linking Words
, residents spent 26 per
cent
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 on other goods and services, followed by Food with 27 per
cent
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. Malaysian people spent 10 from their expenses on transportation,
thus
Linking Words
 only 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
 on health care facilities.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, proportion, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average spending
  • housing expenditures
  • transport costs
  • consumption habits
  • health care budget
  • goods and services
  • economic factors
  • cultural influences
  • urban vs rural spending
  • disposable income
  • financial priorities
  • significant discrepancies
  • budget allocation
  • grocery bills
  • comparative analysis
  • fiscal management
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