IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts
compares
Correct subject-verb agreement
compare
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 the amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed and generated globally in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the largest proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 was oil
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 coal generated the highest
electricity
Use synonyms
 worldwide.
To begin
Linking Words
, oil
hard
Use the right word
had
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 the highest percentage of the total world
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year, representing about 34.3%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it generated almost the least
electricity
Use synonyms
 with a percentage of 6.7%.
Next,
Linking Words
coal had the second largest
Use synonyms
energy consuming
Use the right word
energy-consuming
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 rate
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 represents a quarter of the whole median. It
then
Linking Words
 became the most frequent
energy
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
 source
in
Change preposition
apply
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with almost
two-fiths
Correct your spelling
two-fifths
 of the total. Gas
also
Linking Words
 represented a
fith
Correct your spelling
fifth
 in both the
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 and
electricity
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
. The other sources had similar percentages in generating and consuming
energy
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, combustible renewable and waste had 10.6% in
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 but did not appear in the
electricity
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
. Other
energy
Use synonyms
 sources had 2.1% and less than 1% in
electricity
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
 and
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, consumption, electricity, generation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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