IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is more need for houses at the moment, people think that they should built houses at the countryside. A small group of people think that they should not build it in the countryside. To what extent do you agree?

Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that it is a good idea to construct
houses
Use synonyms
 in rural areas, to satisfy the increased demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing,
whereas
Linking Words
minority
Correct article usage
a minority
show examples
 of them believe
otherwise
Linking Words
. I strongly agree that new
houses
Use synonyms
 outside the cities can solve the growing
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 problems, as new building sites can provide
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle with
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
show examples
 neighbourhood. With the growing population, the shortage of
houses
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 proved to be a major hurdle in the development. The cities are
over-crowded
Use the right word
overcrowded
show examples
,
thus
Linking Words
 compromising general sanitisation and public health. If new settlements are established outside
such
Linking Words
 towns, better facilities could be provided to smaller groups,
thus
Linking Words
 making them more accessible.
This
Linking Words
can
Punctuation problem
can,
show examples
Use the right word
in turn
show examples
inturn
Punctuation problem
inturn,
show examples
 change the living conditions of the society. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, a family of 4 adults and 2 children living in a
3 bedroom
Use the right word
3-bedroom
show examples
 house can split into two
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
houses
Use synonyms
 with better amenities.
This
Linking Words
 could result in hygienic personal spaces rather than shared bathrooms
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
show examples
 to health problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, places outside of cities have big plots to offer with better rates.
Houses
Use synonyms
 built on the skirts
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can be planned with larger bedrooms and bigger
houses
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 could change the way people are living.
Instead
Linking Words
 of
semi-detatched
Correct your spelling
semi-detached
houses
Use synonyms
, single
bunglows
Correct your spelling
bungalows
 with large backyards can be planned.
Subsequenty
Correct your spelling
Subsequently
, improving the privacy, providing a sense of security.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, these
palces
Correct your spelling
places
 can give more space for growing children to
use avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
 car
acidents
Correct your spelling
accidents
. In conclusion, I agree that new homes should be built in the countryside to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will not only make the living conditions more hygienic but will
also
Linking Words
 create a safer society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Explain both sides more. The task asks for how much you agree, so show a view for the other side and then give your final aim. Add a clear last line to say your stance.
coherence
Make a quick plan before you write. Put one idea in each paragraph and use small joining words to show the link between ideas.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common errors like accom modation, in turn, ex ample, car accidents, bung alows. Use correct, simple words.
examples
Give more exact, practical examples that fit the points you make, not only general ideas.
position
You state a clear view that building in the countryside helps, and you keep this idea.
idea
You give a related reason that living cond. could be better with more space and safety.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: