The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph gives the average
temperature
Use synonyms
in Fahrenheit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the bar
chat
Use the right word
chart
show examples
measures swimsuit
sales
Use synonyms
in New York within a period of six
months
Use synonyms
in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
immediate
Replace the word
immediately
show examples
apparent that swimsuit
sales
Use synonyms
increased dramatically in
march
Fix capitalization
March
show examples
while
Linking Words
the
temperature
Use synonyms
witnessed an upward trend
within
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the
whole
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
period. Swimsuit
sales
Use synonyms
in January
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
stood at 100 thousand US
dollars
Use synonyms
. The number of
sales
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
to 160 US
dollars
Use synonyms
, over the next two
months
Use synonyms
. There was a substantial increase in April
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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was when
sales
Use synonyms
reached
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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peak at approximately 280 US
dollars
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
declined drastically in the final
months
Use synonyms
to less than 50 thousand US
dollars
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the average
temperature
Use synonyms
was around 30 Fahrenheit
as at
Change preposition
in
show examples
January 2012, it
then
Linking Words
levelled
of
Change preposition
off in
show examples
the following month.
Next,
Linking Words
the average
temperature
Use synonyms
in New York
surge
Replace the word
surged
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
subsequent
months
Use synonyms
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
a high of
65 Fahrenheit
Check wording
65°F
show examples
in the
last
Linking Words
month.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, sales, months, dollars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
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