IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given
tanle
Correct your spelling
table
 illustrates the sales made by a typical weekday by a
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 shop in an office building in 4 different sales hours.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
popukar
Correct your spelling
popular
 drink among their customers
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
coffee
Punctuation problem
coffee,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the least preferred drink was tea. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth noting that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the total
number
Use synonyms
 of coffee sold is around 3
times
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of tea. Among the snacks,
pasteries
Correct your spelling
pastries
 were popular
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
pasteries
Correct your spelling
pastries
 sold
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 1.5
times
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of sandwiches. From 7.30 to 2.30, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of items sold
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 1250,
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 which 700
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 sold from 7.30 -10.30.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the rest 530 is sold between 10.30 and 2.30. The
number
Use synonyms
od
Use the right word
of
show examples
 sandwiches sold from 10.30 to 2.30 was 4
times
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of the
number
Use synonyms
 sold from 7.30 to 10.30. At the same time, the
number
Use synonyms
 of all the other items decreased by a large
number
Use synonyms
. From 2.30 to 8.30, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of items sold
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 835 and which is 440 less than the total sales in the morning. The
number
Use synonyms
 of tea sold was 35 during 2.30 to 5.30, doubled during 5.30 to 8.30.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of sandwiches sold
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 to 110, which is almost 3
times
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that sold from 2.30 to 5.30.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, times with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • peak hours
  • trough in sales
  • high consumer demand
  • lunchtime surge
  • light meals
  • caffeine boost
  • sustained interest
  • fluctuate
  • comparison of products
  • typical weekday
  • busiest period
What to do next:
Look at other essays: