IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the amount of energy lost in 100 units when it is generated from black coal and when it is generated from brown coal. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two diagrams depict the quantity of
energy
Use synonyms
 lost when it is processed from black coal and brown coal.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a noticeable difference
regarding
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the loss of
energy
Use synonyms
 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity generation from the
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two types of coal. In fact, both processes commence with the input of fuel and end with the distribution of electricity to consumers.
Initially
Linking Words
, both processes start with the input of 100
units
Use synonyms
 of fuel
energy
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are delivered by trucks to
power
Correct article usage
the power
show examples
 station.
Then
Linking Words
, 70
units
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 lost during the
processings
Check wording
processes
show examples
taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 place inside
power
Correct article usage
the power
show examples
 station, utilising the brown coal
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is two
units
Use synonyms
 higher than
Correct pronoun usage
that from
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 black coal. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 stage, the remaining 30
units
Use synonyms
 generated from brown coal
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 used for transportation and distribution for consumers.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 32
units
Use synonyms
 are available to distribute when
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 generated by black coal. During the delivery, similar
units
Use synonyms
 are lost
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 accounts for 3
units
Use synonyms
 for both coal types.
Finally
Linking Words
, 27
units
Use synonyms
 are received by consumers when
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made by brown
coal
Punctuation problem
coal,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 29
units
Use synonyms
 for black coal.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy
  • lost
  • units
  • out of
  • hundred
  • generated
  • coal
  • black
  • brown
  • amount
  • diagram
  • chart
  • figure
  • difference
  • higher
  • lower
  • more
  • less
  • compare
  • same
  • different
  • overall
  • main
  • feature
  • waste
  • input
  • output
  • fuel
  • power
  • produce
  • pattern
  • trend
  • indicate
  • show
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