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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts compare the proportion of the trend in using water in six areas all over the world in term of three different categories

The given pie charts illustrate the trend of
water
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consumption
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 percentage in 6 different areas around the world and using 3 fields.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 5
regions
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, the highest
water
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consumption
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 is for agricultural use except the North
America
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 ,
while
Linking Words
 most
water
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consumption
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 is for industrial use in
Europe
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 and North
America
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in North
America
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 ,
water
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usage
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 for industrial is around 48 %
while
Linking Words
 in
Europe
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, it has a slight increase , which is 53%
next,
Linking Words
in South East
Asia
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,
water
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usage
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 for industrial has the 3rd highest
water
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consumption
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 in the chart , which was 12%. After,
in
Change preposition
apply
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Africa and Central
Asia
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 the lowest in the region , which is 7% and 5%. In South
America
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, the percentage of
water
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usage
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 is 10%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in Africa, Central
Asia
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 , and South East
Asia
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 have similar percentages of
water
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consumption
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 for agriculture , which are 84%, 88% and 81 % in the given
regions
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. In South
America
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,
water
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usage
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 has slightly declined , which was nearly 71%. North
America
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 and
Europe
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 have the lowest
water
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usage
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 for Agriculture , which is 39% and 32%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be seen that, percentage of
water
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usage
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 for domestic is the lowest in all
regions
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 , and both Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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 have the lowest , which is 7%.
Then
Linking Words
, in Africa,
water
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usage
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 has increased to 9%. In
Europe
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, South
America
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 and North
America
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 ,
water
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usage
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 is higher than in other areas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 15%, 19% and 13%,
regions
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, regions, america, europe, usage, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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