IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Natural resources, such as water, forests and oil, are being used at an excessive rate. What are the causes of this problem? What are the possible solutions to address this issue?

Excessive
use
Use synonyms
 of natural
resources
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as water, forests and oil,
one
Verb problem
is one
show examples
 of the major issues nowadays. The problem
this
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
causes is environmental danger
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the most viable solution is
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 awareness
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
 warning
people
Use synonyms
about
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
about the consequences of using bio
resources
Use synonyms
 immoderately. The principal problem is associated with
careless
Correct article usage
the careless
show examples
 lifestyle of
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 society. Many
people
Use synonyms
 do not
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that
energy
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
 have their own limits.
Moreover
Linking Words
, residents of developed
countrise
Correct your spelling
countries
 do not have even a
funadamental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
 understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how much
energy
Use synonyms
 they consume daily to maintain their basic needs.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the recent research conducted by
graduated
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
 students of Yale University,
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 European family has at least 10 electronic devices at home,
also
Linking Words
 it is not unusual for them to have
TV
Correct article usage
a TV
show examples
 in each room, and to produce
this
Linking Words
 amount of
energy
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, electro
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electro
Use the right word
electricity
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 stations
use
Use synonyms
 millions of kilotons of coal. Eventually, greenhouse gases released by these stations lead to
atmosphere
Replace the word
atmospheric
show examples
 pollution, and
this
Linking Words
 causes myriad other environmental problems associated with air and water pollution, biodiversity loss, global warming and so on. To tackle
this
Linking Words
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
show examples
 the
goverenment
Correct your spelling
government
 should launch a publicity
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
 in the media and in
shools
Use the right word
schools
show examples
 to educate
people
Use synonyms
 about the possible consequences of immoderate
use
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 still do not pay attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue
due to
Linking Words
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 understanding of
dangers
Correct article usage
the dangers
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 An awareness campaign could shed some light on
this
Linking Words
 difficult situation and allow
people
Use synonyms
 to be more open and honest about it.
For instance
Linking Words
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 32% decrease in unnecessary coal and oil
use
Use synonyms
 via
educated
Correct article usage
an educated
show examples
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
 that
thay imlemented
Correct your spelling
they implemented
 into
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 system.
To sum up
Linking Words
, excessive
use
Use synonyms
 of natural
resources
Use synonyms
 is a serious issue that directly negatively affects to environment
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it can be addressed through educating
people
Use synonyms
 about the dangers.

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content
Be clear in your view. Say the cause and the fix in one or two lines. Give steps to solve the problem.
language
Use simple words. Avoid hard phrasing. Check spelling and focus on one idea at a time.
structure
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also, then to make flow from one idea to the next.
content
The topic is clear and you give a view on the issue.
content
There are real examples to show your point.
structure
There is a closing line that sums up the view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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