IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for strss at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employee,s life easier?

Numerous people have to
work
Use synonyms
 longer hours and experience mental pressure than in the past. In my opinion, the reasons that caused pressure in the workplace may be diverse. Employers can
also
Linking Words
 improve the lives of
employees
Use synonyms
 in various ways. Currently, the sources of stress are diverse and profound.
First,
Linking Words
the cost of living. The price to sustain the
life
Check wording
apply
show examples
quality is far
more expensive
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than in previous periods. Under the circumstances, the worker
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will spend
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tremendous time
to deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
show examples
 with more jobs in order to earn the profits as much
as
Check wording
profit as
show examples
 possible.
Second,
Linking Words
the relationship with colleagues
also
Linking Words
 occupies an essential position. The workplace is a small society that comprises diverse individuals. The interaction with colleagues is a crucial factor that not only determines whether the collaborative project will go smoothly or end in reverse, but
also
Linking Words
 significantly impacts the
overall
Linking Words
 atmosphere of the job environment, which in turn affects the
work
Use synonyms
 performance of all
employees
Use synonyms
. The employer is a dominant character and possesses the significant capability to alleviate the pressure for the workers.
For instance
Linking Words
, increasing the salaries properly or providing a subsidy are the options. Employers may be able to adjust payroll
according to
Linking Words
 different scales of
work
Use synonyms
 contribution for each employee and provide a subsidy for those who encounter difficulties in their lives. Meanwhile, employers should perform their leadership role to establish a harmonious
work
Use synonyms
 environment. In conclusion,
employees
Use synonyms
 will face various pressures in the current workplace
due to
Linking Words
 severe competition. The
employees
Use synonyms
 should take into account
to
Rephrase
how to
show examples
 reduce the stress caused to the workers by
conducting
Verb problem
implementing
show examples
 diverse policies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay with a short intro, two or three main ideas, and a brief ending.
structure
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and keep your points easy to follow.
language
content
Add one or two small examples to show how employers can help in real life.
content
You talk about real reasons like money and team feeling in the office.
solutions
You give ideas on how bosses can help, like pay and support.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: