IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given pie charts illustrate the average proportion of three kinds of nutrients in typical meals consumed in the United States.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 majority of
unhealthly
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
 nutrients
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 consumed in dinner, with the exception
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 was taken in breakfast. Sodium and saturated fats showed the highest share of night meal, which accounted for 43% and 37% respectively, except for the added
sugar
Use synonyms
 (23%). The average amount of sodium in both breakfast and snacks exhibited a similar share, each accounting for 14%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the amount of sodium in lunch constituted
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one-third of its total percentage. In terms of saturated fats and
sugar
Use synonyms
, it is evident that both nutrients reported
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal figures for
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
 meal, each accounting for 16%. Saturated fat made up over one-fifth of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 percentage for snacks,
whereas
Linking Words
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
 constituted 42%.
In addition
Linking Words
, over one-fourth of
share
Correct article usage
the share
show examples
 of lunch meal
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
consisted
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 saturated fat,
while
Linking Words
 20% was recorded by
sugar
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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