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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts beloow show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak othe languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The number of
students
Use synonyms
 who speak languages other than
English
Use synonyms
 has increased from 2000 to 2010. The 2000 chart shows that 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 speak no other
language
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in the 2010 chart, there are only 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who speak no other
language
Use synonyms
, which is a 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 decrease.
This
Linking Words
 indicates that more
students
Use synonyms
 are capable of speaking languages other than
English
Use synonyms
 over the
10
Correct word choice
past 10
show examples
 years. Spanish is the most common
language
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 can speak outside of
speaking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
English
Use synonyms
. In both 2000 and
2010
Add a comma
2010,
show examples
 Spanish
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest percentage within the charts. With 2000 having 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 2010 having 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, showing that the most common
language
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 can speak
that is
Linking Words
 not
English
Use synonyms
 is Spanish. The number of
students
Use synonyms
 whose only other
language
Use synonyms
 is French has decreased. In 2000, 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 French as their only other
language
Use synonyms
. That percentage decreased by 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 over the years, resulting in 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, english, percent, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • language
  • speak
  • speak another language
  • English
  • share
  • proportion
  • percent
  • rise
  • increase
  • fall
  • decrease
  • change
  • trend
  • overall
  • year
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • most common
  • least common
  • top language
  • variety
  • different
  • compare
  • in contrast
  • as well as
  • in addition
  • more
  • less
  • same
  • data
  • chart
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