IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how honey is made in a small-scale comercial production. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosons where relevant

The visual data illustrates the way the
honey
Use synonyms
 is produced on a local-scale manufacturing.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
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 the process has two phases. There is the
bee
Use synonyms
phase
Use synonyms
 and the human
phase
Use synonyms
. Both have a number of steps within them.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , the first stage is the
bee
Use synonyms
phase
Use synonyms
. On
this
Linking Words
stage
Add a comma
stage,
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 the
bee
Use synonyms
 starts by
gethering
Correct your spelling
gathering
 the nectar from the nearby flowers.
Next,
Linking Words
the
bee
Use synonyms
 deposits it in special chambers. The work of the bees does not stop here
,
Punctuation problem
;
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moreover
Linking Words
, they still have to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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 it clean
while
Linking Words
 the
honey
Use synonyms
 is drying. Moving
further
Linking Words
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
there is
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 the human
phase
Use synonyms
. It starts by sealing the cells with wax. For the next stage, very carefully ,the
Use synonyms
bee keeper
Use the right word
beekeeper
show examples
 has to gather the
Use synonyms
honey combs
Use the right word
honeycombs
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 from the nests.
Then
Linking Words
 a machine is needed for pressing the combs.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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honey
Use synonyms
 is made,
although
Linking Words
 the process is not over yet. The
honey
Use synonyms
 is dumped into a sump tank where it is heated. Next , the
honey
Use synonyms
 is placed in a removing dirt container named
sieve
Correct article usage
the sieve
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 tank. After that ,the
honey
Use synonyms
 is
let
Use the right word
left
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 to settle for 2 to 4 days before packing it into jars and
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 ready to sell.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bee, phase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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