IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.

Dear Raneem I hope you're doing well. I
heared
Correct your spelling
heard
 that you're coming back, and I'm really happy to see you soon. I wanted to tell you about Riyadh
city
Punctuation problem
city,
show examples
 it's a heaven of job opportunities
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I highly recommend it to you
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 for your current
experience
Punctuation problem
experience,
show examples
 it will ease you to get a good job.
However
Linking Words
, you will get to know the city and explore the area.
There's
Verb problem
There are
show examples
 a lot of different options
whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
show examples
 you want to work
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part-time or
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
 jobs.
Due to
Linking Words
 your
experiencein
Correct your spelling
experience in
 Hr,
there's
Verb problem
there are
show examples
 a few companies that will match your qualifications. So,I recommend looking into websites and hiring programs near the city.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that you have to make some relationships here, people are so friendly and helpful
you
Punctuation problem
, you
show examples
well
Use the right word
will
show examples
 love it here. I'm really delighted that you're coming. Can't wait to see you soon! Take care, Ghuyudh

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix small mistakes like heared should be heard, HR is better written as HR or Human Resources, and add spaces after words.
structure
Put each idea in its own part: city, jobs, and friends. Use a new line for each part.
coherence
Use more linking words to show flow, like and, also, but, then.
style
Keep the tone warm but simple so the reader feels cared.
tone
The letter shows you care and want to help your friend.
content
It covers the three big points: city, jobs, and making friends.
format
It ends with a kind sign-off.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: