The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

the
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The
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bar
chars
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charts
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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key information about the
thyes
Correct your spelling
types
of jobs that
graduate
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and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
did after the university in 2008
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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4
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of jobs are
part type
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part-time
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work
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, voluntary
work
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,
further
Linking Words
study and unemployment.
the
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The
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units are measured in numbers.
Overall
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, it is clear from the graph that
further
Linking Words
study has the largest portion
numbers
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of numbers
show examples
in both
graduate
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students
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and postgraduate
students
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.
In addition
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,
part time
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part-time
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jobs
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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difference between
graduate
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and postgraduate
students
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,
around
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with around
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2535 in
graduate
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students
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Correct word choice
and while
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while
Correct your spelling
17735
in postgraduate
students
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has 17735.
whereas
Linking Words
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
students
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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around 10
double
Check wording
times more
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in
graduate
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students
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
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than
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postgraduate
Change preposition
in postgraduate
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students
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown, voluntary
work
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is
Verb problem
has
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the lowest number of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
in both
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of
graduated
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
students
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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dramatically
Correct article usage
a dramatically
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different number , about 3000
increaseed
Correct your spelling
increased
number in
graduate
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students
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.
Therefore
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, we can describe the
graduate
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students
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
as having
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the best
work
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Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
from all
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
of view.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, work with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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