IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table compares the
time
Use synonyms
 spent by unemployed people in the
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 doing various
activities
Use synonyms
.The data is
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
activities
Use synonyms
 are compared in percentage
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 both sexes.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are involved in different kinds of
activities
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
varied
Correct word choice
varying
show examples
percentage
Check wording
degree
show examples
.Housework is the most common activity of
women
Use synonyms
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 job
haunting
Use the right word
hunting
show examples
 is the predominant choice among
men
Use synonyms
 .
According to
Linking Words
 the table,
women
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 significant participation in housework,shopping,job
haunting
Use the right word
hunting
show examples
,gardening
watching
Punctuation problem
, watching
show examples
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
,visiting friends and relatives and reading books.
Women
Use synonyms
 spent 49% and 21% of their
time
Use synonyms
 in housework in
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
 and
afternoon
Correct article usage
the afternoon
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.It is followed by shopping as 26%of
time
Use synonyms
 is spent on them in
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
 and 17 % in
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,they spend less
time
Use synonyms
 in
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as decorating, walking,sitting around,staying in bed,visiting town,playing
sports
Use synonyms
 and drinking.It is evident that
women
Use synonyms
 don't stay in bed or play
sports
Use synonyms
 at all in the afternoon.
Moreover
Linking Words
,they merely spend 1% of their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drinking. In terms of
men
Use synonyms
,job
haunting
Use the right word
hunting
show examples
 is the most preferred activity in the morning
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 22%
whereas
Linking Words
 watching
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 is enjoyed by them in the evening
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 14%.
Men
Use synonyms
 spend more of their
time
Use synonyms
 in gardening
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 14%in
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
 and 13%in
Correct article usage
the afternoon
show examples
afternoon
Punctuation problem
afternoon,
show examples
 followed by
activities
Use synonyms
 like reading,decorating, walking or doing nothing at all.They spent less of their morning and evening
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visiting
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
playing
Punctuation problem
, playing
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 drinking. Drinking,playing
sports
Use synonyms
 are not enjoyed by both sexes.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, men, women, sports with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spend
  • spent
  • time
  • last year
  • unemployed
  • most
  • least
  • share
  • percent
  • percentage
  • activity
  • types of activity
  • work
  • job search (if shown)
  • leisure
  • sleep
  • hours
  • overall
  • in general
  • more than
  • less than
  • as well as
  • also
  • but
  • however
  • similarly
  • whereas
  • than
  • equal
  • noted
  • big
  • small
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