Question: Some people today believe that the world increases in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society -Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The global community has skyrocketed in the past few years.
While
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many believe the increase in population is necessary and only beneficial, I disagree with
this
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notion , as it neglects the unsustainable possibilities it may lead to. In
this
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essay, we will break down the public opinions to form a clearer understanding of the impacts caused by community growth from both social and economic aspects. With a growing society, we can assume the number of intellectuals and manpower has
also
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risen
accordingly
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across the borders, as have the consumers. The greater diversity of ideas and skills input can speed up the progress of new inventions and technologies,
while
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supporting underpopulated areas with more helping hands to improve the local infrastructure,
such
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as schools, attractions, and leisure public spaces. If the facilities become more accessible, the economy will be nourished
accordingly
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due to
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a larger number of entrepreneurs and buyers.
Hence
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, the continuity of society growth can mark a significant boost in speeding up the innovation in various sectors,
thus
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achieving prosperity among humankind.
However
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, a surging demographic can be harmful under the circumstances of exploiting existing natural resources. Facts have shown that some countries face severe socioeconomic disparity and unequal distribution of essentials
due to
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poor governance of their dense populations. Significant resources
such
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as food, water, land, electricity and monetary opportunity can be used wrongly by a higher power. In short,
this
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concern will result in overcrowded cities, pollution, worsened public health, and a higher risk of political crisis. How to ensure the demographic acceleration guides us to a brighter future? I believe it is important to reinforce firmer policies to reduce the possibilities of crimes, uncontrolled birth rate, and environmental contamination. To illustrate
this
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, the government should apply serious fines and punishment
on
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to
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the families that cannot provide each of their children with sufficient essentials or educational rights.
This
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effort can reassure that the number of global citizens will not outgrow our limited Earth supplies.
Furthermore
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, the government should plan well with the distribution of assets and educational opportunities to eliminate the potential discrimination in overloaded areas. In a nutshell, I find that the increasing community is only beneficial if smart rules and care are applied, without so it may result in a global crisis.
While
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the
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The
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rising population is inevitable
,
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;
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we should be conscious of the consequences humans can bring to the environment and our own people,
thus
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promoting a sustainable future.

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organization
Make a clear plan: intro with your view, two body parts for both sides, then a short conclusion restating your view.
task
State your view in a clear line in the intro and in the end.
evidence
Add more exact examples or data to back points; use simple, real life facts or simple numbers.
language
Short and clear sentences; fix long sentences; check grammar.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and cause
coherence
Keep a consistent tone; avoid too many words that are not needed.
content
The essay shows a good attempt to discuss both sides.
linking
It has some clear links like 'However' and 'To illustrate this'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • world
  • people
  • grow
  • more
  • many
  • crisis
  • unsustainable
  • growth
  • population
  • economy
  • society
  • health
  • education
  • jobs
  • food
  • water
  • air
  • land
  • space
  • city
  • plan
  • policy
  • rules
  • technology
  • farming
  • energy
  • climate
  • pollution
  • money
  • family
  • birth
  • rate
  • migration
  • age
  • young
  • old
  • balance
  • sustainable
  • equal
  • fair
  • resource
  • solution
  • idea
  • think
  • view
  • in my view
  • on the other hand
  • overall
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