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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the table below shows the number of temporary migrant workers in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information and write 150 words

The table illustrates the
number
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 of temporary migrant
workers
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 in Australia, New
Zealand
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, the United Kingdom and the United States in the years 2003 and 2006,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of these
workers
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 per 1000
people
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 in 2006 in the 4
countries
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 mentioned.
Overall
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 US remained at the top of the charts in regard to the
number
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 of non-permanent migrant
workers
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 in both 2003 and 2006,
whereas
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
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 had the least in both years. The UK showed the biggest rise out of the 4
countries
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,
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
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 depicts the lowest amount of growth out of the
countries
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 mentioned in the table. It's
also
Linking Words
 worth noting that New
Zealand
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 had the highest short-term
workers
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 per 1000
people
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 in 2006. Australia showed great growth of temporary migrant
workers
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 there is a huge difference between numbers in 2003 and numbers in 2006, depicting a +67000 increase in migrant employees, the 2nd least among all the
countries
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. Regardless, it is still a massive jump.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, New
Zealand
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 illustrates a small increase in migrant
workers
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, but the
number
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 of non-permanent migrant
workers
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 per 1000
people
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 is worth noting. The UK illustrated a tremendous jump from 137000 in 2003 to 266000 in 2006, but
due to
Linking Words
 the nation's huge population, the
number
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 of
workers
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 per 1000
people
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 in the country is the 2nd least out of the 4
countries
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. The US
also
Linking Words
 showed a dramatic increase, jumping to 678000
workers
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 in 2006.
Due to
Linking Words
 the same reasons as the UK, the US has the lowest amount of
workers
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 per 1000
people
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 , which is 2.3.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, due to".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, workers, zealand, people, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "jump" was used 2 times.
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