IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The average number of hours of teaching per year done by each teacher in four different countries in 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The data illustrates the time of teaching
hours
Use synonyms
 by each teacher in Japan, Spain, Ireland and the USA during 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 spent a lot of time teaching the Upper secondary
level
Use synonyms
 more than the other levels.
Also
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the USA spent the highest
hours
Use synonyms
 teaching among all levels of education. On the one hand, the USA
teachers
Use synonyms
 spend the highest period teaching students, around 900
hours
Use synonyms
 in primary school to approximately 1100
hours
Use synonyms
 in upper secondary
level
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
 in Spain worked for 600
hours
Use synonyms
 in primary and lower school, to around 1000
hours
Use synonyms
 for the higher
level
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Ireland shows a fluctuating pattern in which 600hours for primary students and increased in lower secondary
level
Use synonyms
 to 800
hours
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 declined to roughly 770
hours
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
teachers
Use synonyms
 in Japan spent the lowest period among the other countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, primary and lower secondary education
teachers
Use synonyms
 spent only 600
hours
Use synonyms
 each
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
hours
Punctuation problem
, hours
show examples
 slightly increased to about 620 for higher education.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Improve task response by giving a clear overall view of all four countries and noting which country has the most hours and which has the least.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the text flow better. Use a simple order for points and link with words like also, but, and then.
overview
The essay shows the USA has the most hours and Japan the least.
data
Some numbers are used to show hours for different levels.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual hours of teaching
  • teaching workload
  • educational systems
  • teacher-student ratio
  • significantly
  • slightly
  • noticeably
  • gap
  • highest/lowest number of hours
  • compare
  • contrast
  • reflect
  • variations
  • distribution of teaching hours
  • average
  • respectively
What to do next:
Look at other essays: