IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph gives data about the worldwide sales of
computerized
Change the spelling
computerised
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a rise in certain types of
games
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phone, online and handheld
games
Use synonyms
. In the
mean time
Use the right word
meantime
show examples
, console
games
Use synonyms
 were on the
downfall
Check wording
decline
show examples
. Out of all the
games
Use synonyms
 that rose, the most bought game was handheld
games
Use synonyms
. Starting with a little less than 12 billion dollars in 2000, and reaching almost 18 billion dollars in the
6 year
Use the right word
6-year
show examples
 period. The sale of online
games
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, in 2001, wasn't very significant but showed a steady increase during the years, the same as mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
. The two were nearly
head to head
Use the right word
head-to-head
show examples
 most of the time.
However
Linking Words
, by the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 online
games
Use synonyms
 took over mobile
games
Use synonyms
. The one game that showed a falling trend was console
games
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it was a very slight and controlled drop.
While
Linking Words
 their
vend
Check wording
debt
show examples
 was close to 6
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
 dollars in 2000, by the year 2006 it
decreased
Verb problem
had decreased
show examples
 almost half the amount, finishing the time period
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 place.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words games with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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