Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many developing countries, finding employment has become increasingly difficult, resulting in rising levels of unemployment.
As a result
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, some people argue that students should only receive primary
education
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,
while
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others believe that secondary
education
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is essential. I strongly disagree with the idea of limiting
education
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to the primary level, as secondary
education
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plays a crucial role in personal and national development. Those who support only primary
education
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often argue that it is sufficient for basic survival and low-skilled jobs. In poor countries, many families struggle financially, and they believe that extended schooling is an unnecessary expense.
According to
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this
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view, children should complete only basic
education
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and
then
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start working to support their families.
Furthermore
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, it is sometimes claimed that the job market in developing nations does not require highly educated workers, so investing in secondary
education
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may seem wasteful.
However
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, I firmly believe that restricting
education
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to the primary level would have serious negative consequences.
Firstly
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, secondary
education
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provides students with essential knowledge and skills that are necessary in the modern world. In today’s competitive job market, even basic jobs often require literacy, numeracy, and problem-solving abilities that are developed during secondary schooling. Without
this
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level of
education
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, young people would remain trapped in low-paid and unskilled employment, which would only worsen poverty in the long term.
Secondly
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, secondary
education
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is vital for the
overall
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development of a country. Educated individuals contribute more effectively to society and the economy. They are more likely to start businesses, innovate, and adapt to new technologies. Limiting
education
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would reduce the number of skilled professionals
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such
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, such
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as teachers, doctors, and engineers,
which
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who
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are essential for national progress.
Therefore
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, expanding access to secondary
education
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can actually help reduce unemployment rather than increase it.
In addition
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,
education
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is not only about getting a job; it
also
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promotes social awareness, critical thinking, and personal growth. Young people who receive proper
education
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are more likely to make informed decisions, participate in civic life, and improve the living standards of their communities. Denying them
this
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opportunity would limit their potential and future prospects. In conclusion,
although
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unemployment is a serious issue in poor countries, restricting students to primary
education
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is not a practical solution.
Instead
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, governments should focus on improving access to quality secondary
education
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and creating more employment opportunities. I strongly believe that secondary
education
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is essential for both individual success and national development.

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task response
Give one or two clear examples from life or simple plans to back the ideas.
task response
Include a short counter point and then show how you refute it to show depth.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and finish with a link to the next idea.
coherence
Use more linking words to connect ideas and keep sentence length even.
vocabulary
Keep words simple and use short, clean sentences; avoid long, hard phrases.
task response
Clear stance and strong idea that secondary education is key for person and nation.
coherence
Good use of order words like Firstly and Secondly to show order of ideas.
coherence
The essay has a clear start, middle and end.
coherence
Ideas are well linked and stay on the main goal.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy and numeracy skills
  • competitive job market
  • advanced knowledge and skills
  • versatile workforce
  • higher education
  • specialized training
  • economic development
  • skilled workforce
  • foreign investors
  • social outcomes
  • reduced crime rates
  • quality of life
  • informed decisions
  • financial constraints
  • diluting resources
  • government role
  • accessible and equitable education
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