Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this case? How can they be encouraged to go out?

Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of youngsters are now
very
Rephrase
much
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less
willingly
Replace the word
willing
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to
involve
Verb problem
engage
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in open-air
activities
Use synonyms
that require
to go
Wrong verb form
going
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to natural green spaces and physical effort.
This
Linking Words
situation in time has its own reasons and potential solutions.
As
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay will explain both. At
first
Punctuation problem
first,
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people
Use synonyms
's reluctance to go out mountains and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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outdoor sports
are stemming
Wrong verb form
stems
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from
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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influence of social
media
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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what it brings is
real life
Use the right word
real-life
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isolation. Being overly addicted to
virtual
Correct article usage
a virtual
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form of communication mitigates the interest of young
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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spending time with real friends or families and participating
various
Change preposition
in various
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events.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
an
Correct article usage
apply
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evidence,
previous
Correct article usage
a previous
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survey held to understand the importance of outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
showed that most of the children these days
are finding
Wrong verb form
find
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video games and
phone related
Use the right word
phone-related
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
more
enjoying
Replace the word
enjoyable
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than going outdoors. To solve those above, there should be more TV and
media
Use synonyms
commercials on entertaining open air
activities
Use synonyms
like climbing and hiking. Since more and more young
people
Use synonyms
are choosing to lock
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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up to the Internet, it is fruitful to connect the minds of youngsters through
media
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, encouragement by parents and guardians
Linking Words
also could
Correct word order
could also
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have a good influence on young
people
Use synonyms
's attendance
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent research ramification displays that descendants who are keen on going out for inspired by their parents to take part in social
open-air
Correct word choice
outdoor
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activities
Use synonyms
and even
together with
Linking Words
partnering their
children
Punctuation problem
children,
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those guardians
behaved
Wrong verb form
behave
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as well
supporters
Correct word choice
as supporters
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. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
the
globalizing
Change the spelling
globalising
show examples
isolation and the effect of social
media
Use synonyms
, there is a widespread reluctance among youngsters to take part in
outdoor exciting
Correct word order
exciting outdoor
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activities
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is possible to persuade young
people
Use synonyms
to be more active through effective announcements and help
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
parents.

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structure
Have a clear plan in the first line. State your idea and plan in one sentence. Make two parts: reasons and ways to help.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors. Watch verb form and subject use in long sentences.
vocabulary
Use easy words. Some big words here sound odd. Words like 'globalizing' or 'ramification' are not needed.
content
Add real examples, even small ones, to show your point.
coherence
Use linking words to move from reason to solution and to tie ideas together.
content
The topic is clear and kept as you want: why young people do not go outside and how to make them go.
structure
Structure shows plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
You try to cover both sides (causes and fixes) and you end with a thought.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital entertainment
  • urbanization
  • peer influence
  • natural environments
  • engage in outdoor activities
  • lack of awareness
  • safety concerns
  • convenient
  • remote areas
  • benefits
  • unfamiliar areas
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