IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In countries all over the world, the volume of road traffic is increasing at a faster rate than new roads are built. What are the causes of this problem? What are some potential solutions?

Road
traffic
Use synonyms
 volume worldwide is growing faster compared to the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new roads.
Traffic
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conjunction
Check wording
congestion is
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 becoming a common issue faced by most cities globally, specifically urban areas. Several factors contribute to
this
Linking Words
 condition, and a
number
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 of effective solutions can be implemented to solve it. One major cause of rising
traffic
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 volume is
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 population. The
number
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 of people, especially in big cities, keeps growing
overtime
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over time
show examples
. As
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
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 population expands, more people do activities in the area,
such
Linking Words
going
Change preposition
as going
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 to work, going to school, and doing groceries.
This
Linking Words
resulting
Replace the word
results
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 in
high
Correct article usage
a high
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number
Use synonyms
 of
commuting
Use the right word
commuters
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem is the result of
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of car
Use synonyms
ownership
Replace the word
owners
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.
many
Fix capitalization
Many
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 individuals
owning
Wrong verb form
own
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 private vehicles considering the
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
. To illustrate, a recent survey result shows
at
Change preposition
that
show examples
 roughly 60% households in
jakarta
Fix capitalization
Jakarta
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, Indonesia,
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
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 three cars. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should regulate car
ownership
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 is to lower the
number
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 of families possessing more than three cars per household.
This
Linking Words
 strategy has been proven viable in Singapore. They started the trial of
this
Linking Words
 regulation in 2019 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been resulting in a massive decline in the percentage of car
ownership
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 by 2024.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, officials prioritising
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of public transportation is another effective way to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue. In conclusion, the rapid growth of road
traffic
Use synonyms
 compared to the new roads is mainly caused by population growth and
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of people owning cars.
However
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regulating private vehicle
ownership
Use synonyms
 and focusing on public transportation expansion can
effecticvely
Correct your spelling
effectively
 manage
traffic
Use synonyms
conjuction
Correct your spelling
congestion
 and create more sustainable cities.

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task response
Give more clear steps for each cause and each solution. Add 2 or 3 main ideas and explain them with small facts or data.
data support
Add more proof from real life. Give numbers, years, or places to back up the points.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spell mistakes to raise clear value.
structure
Make the idea flow from one part to the next by using linking words and proper order.
style
Use less long and hard words. Keep the mind on the main idea.
strength
The essay shows a clear aim to find out why more cars and people make traffic rise.
strength
There is an example from Jakarta and a link to Singapore.
strength
The plan gives two kinds of fixes: smaller use of cars and more buses or trains.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic
  • road
  • population
  • vehicles
  • convenience
  • economic
  • develop
  • afford
  • shopping
  • delivery
  • public transport
  • reliable
  • drive
  • urban planning
  • congestion
  • narrow
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