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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some corporations believe that the quality of multitasking is not needed in employment. However, reputation of multitasking quality is gaining in the world. Discuss both points of view.

In the modern world, a number of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 believe that at
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
 multitasking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not required as it is more stressful and compromises
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of service.
While
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is evident to perform more than one
task
Use synonyms
 at a
time
Use synonyms
 in the company because it increases productivity and it has
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 benefits.
This
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 essay will discuss both points in detail in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
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, a significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 say that
multitaking
Correct your spelling
multitasking
 is gaining encouragement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 because performing multiple
Use synonyms
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 would be advantageous as it increases productivity. To illustrate, if a person
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 many
Use synonyms
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Use synonyms
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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then
Linking Words
 he will complete his
work
Use synonyms
 in lesser duration than the one who does not.
As a result
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, he will achieve his goal earlier and utilise his
time
Use synonyms
 on other tasks.
For example
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, in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 food
industry
Add a comma
industry,
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 a chef cooks multiple dishes at the same
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare food faster.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is economically beneficial for the corporations. Many industries prefer to hire
people
Use synonyms
 who can perform various
Use synonyms
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. So, they do not need to hire multiple candidates
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 allows them to have more profit as they pay
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 for more
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
this
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 is not required in the
recent
Correct word choice
current
show examples
 world as it would increase the anxiety and workload
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 employees.
Moreover
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, completing more than one
task
Use synonyms
 needs
high
Correct word choice
close
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 attention,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 causes stress to
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
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work
Use synonyms
 without relaxing. Another point that cannot be overlooked is that
this
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 will decrease the
quality
Use synonyms
 of service in the organisation. As
fast paced
Use the right word
fast-paced
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 usually
compromise
Correct subject-verb agreement
compromises
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
sandards
Correct your spelling
standards
 because workers are more focused
to switch
Change preposition
on switching
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tasks. To clarify, many factory workers do multiple tasks - receiving, packing and shipping
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 discontinuous pattern confuses them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 sometimes they ship
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 order
due to
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this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 management.
Overall
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, many industries do not prefer to have multitasking
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their employment. To recapitulate,
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 are some disadvantages of performing multiple
Use synonyms
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 at the same
time
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corporations
Punctuation problem
corporations,
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 like it decreases
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of service and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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 more pressure on workers.
However
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, its merits cannot be ignored because of the financial significance
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it supports more productivity gains.

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overall
Plan your writing. Start with a short intro that says you look at both views. Then give two body parts for each side. End with a simple conclusion.
grammar
Use simple and short sentences. Check your grammar for verb forms and plural n words. Keep to basic words.
content
Give one clear example for each main point. Do not put many ideas in one long sentence.
cohesion
Use linking words to show order. e.g., First, Also, However, In conclusion.
content
Make sure your facts are easy to follow. Explain how a claim works in simple terms.
balance
The essay covers both views.
content
It gives some real life examples to support points.
structure
There is a simple conclusion that restates the main idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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