IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of share of total world production by Asia, Europe and other parts of the world from the years 1840 to 2000.

The diagram illustrates the percentage of share of total
world
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 of wheat among Asia,
Europe
Use synonyms
, and other
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the
world
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1840 to 2000. It is apparently clear that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Asia and
Europe
Use synonyms
 were the
mostly
Use the right word
most
show examples
wheat producing
Use the right word
wheat-producing
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 among others
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
cetain
Correct your spelling
certain
 year,
while
Linking Words
, rest of the
world
Use synonyms
 followed a consequence over the same period of time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Europe
Use synonyms
 produced most of the
jutes
Correct your spelling
jute
 all over the time between 1840 and 2000,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
 the maximum
production
Use synonyms
 at 1920.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Asia
also
Linking Words
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
 the same number of
production
Use synonyms
 as
Europe
Use synonyms
 did at 1840.
However
Linking Words
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
world
Use synonyms
 had a fluctuation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
production
Use synonyms
 at the same time. It started with a very
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 amount of
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 (10) but doubled after 40 years
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1880. Their number of
Use synonyms
production
Correct pronoun usage
their production
show examples
 increased regularly year by year
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was very surprising,
while
Linking Words
 other countries
expreinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 ups and downs in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
production
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, production, europe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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