IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 the
companies
Use synonyms
 are hiring
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 number of
women
Use synonyms
 and
male
Check wording
men
show examples
 as employees. I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive
trend
Use synonyms
 because
women
Use synonyms
 are proving that they are
cabaple
Correct your spelling
capable
due to
Linking Words
 earning high
leve
Correct your spelling
levels
 of education more often now than in the past
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is a positive
trend
Use synonyms
 to follow because the cost of living is more expensive
Punctuation problem
,
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and
women
Use synonyms
 are supporting their families to have a better life. One positive aspect about
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 is that
women
Use synonyms
 are getting a higher level of education
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 nowadays females can be seen as
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 or lawyers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, huge corporations are
given
Wrong verb form
giving
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more opportunities to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 to lead
companies
Use synonyms
 as directors or CEO because they are well-educated nowadays.
Also
Linking Words
, it is
know
Wrong verb form
known
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 that females cope much better with stress than males, so they combine their knowledge and
multitask
Replace the word
multitasking
show examples
 experiences to lead
companies
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Mexico, we can see that the
county
Use the right word
country
show examples
 has for the very first time a woman as a president, and she has done an incredible job for the whole country, according the The Heraldo Newspaper. Another positive aspect is that
women
Use synonyms
 are able to support expenses in their family because the cost of living is
more expensive
Correct word choice
higher
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, so the whole family have a better life. More importantly, men used ot be the
bread winner
Use the right word
breadwinners
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 with the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living, it is crucial that both spouses work to keep on track. Nowadays, we can see that
women
Use synonyms
Verb problem
are
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working for
well-know
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 like Google, Kaiser
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is because
finally
Linking Words
 these huge
coorporations
Correct your spelling
corporations
 believe in
women
Use synonyms
's
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, having
women
Use synonyms
 with better academic skills
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
less social poverty because the percentage of
unemplyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 has decreased
due to
Linking Words
companies
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 interested
to hire
Change preposition
in hiring
show examples
women
Use synonyms
. In summary, I strongly believe that it is a positive
trend
Use synonyms
 that
companies
Use synonyms
 are
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 an equal
numbber
Correct your spelling
number
 of employees for males and
women
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
let
Verb problem
allows
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 to access higher places
withing
Use the right word
within
show examples
 the company, so it
also
Linking Words
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the level of poverty in society.

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task response
Task response: State your view clearly and do not only say it is good. Add one simple point on a possible downside or limits so your view is strong.
structure
Structure: Use a plan. Intro with the topic, two body parts with one idea each, then a short end. Each body idea should have a link to an example or detail.
coherence
Coherence: Use linking words (first, also, for example, however) to show how ideas fit. Make sure each paragraph sticks to one main idea.
grammar
Grammar and spelling: Check common errors. Use simple and short sentence forms. Put punctuation to end ideas.
lexical
Lexical: Use easy and true words. Fix small spelling or word form errors. For example, write 'positive trend' not 'positive trend to follow'.
examples
Examples: Use accurate and clear examples. Explain how each example supports your point.
strength
The writer shows a clear view in favour of equal hiring.
strength
The essay uses examples and reasons to back points.
strength
Some link words are used to join ideas.
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