IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below illustrates data on Europeans from various age groups who attended a gym once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart demonstrates data on Europeans from various age groups who attended a gym once a month or more during the 20-year period, starting from 1990. The
overall
Linking Words
 trend of 45 and over
Use synonyms
ages
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apply
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has been downward over the
last
Linking Words
 15 years. 18-
24
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24-year-olds
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ages
Use synonyms
 were by far the leading
region
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age group
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 in the number of
ages
Use synonyms
, experiencing the most dramatic growth,
whereas
Linking Words
 45 and over
ages
Use synonyms
 mostly illustrated the lowest figures. 25-34 and 35-44
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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Linking Words
also
Check wording
groups also
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 witnessed
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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, albeit significantly. 18-24
Use synonyms
ages
Check wording
apply
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were reported to have at least 10% youth in the initial year, and almost
quadruple
Replace the word
quadrupled
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 by the end of the period, reaching around 60%. 25-34 and 35-44
Use synonyms
ages
Rephrase
years old
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, meanwhile, recorded significantly lower figures and almost identical patterns of growth. Commencing with about 5-6%, the number of
ages
Use synonyms
 in
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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Europe grew modestly to roughly 50% and 40% in 2010 and had remained unaltered at
this
Linking Words
 level by the end. 45 and over
ages
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, was an exception in the chart. The starting period was approximately 3%, the same quantity as 35-44
Use synonyms
ages
Rephrase
years old
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 in 1990
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the number of Europeans halved in 2010.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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