IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some employers are willing to give their workers a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical* time, believing this benefits the individual and the organisation. Other employers see no merit in this arrangement and discourage it. Consider the possible arguments for and against unpaid sabbatical leave, and reach a viewpoint of your own.

It is often argued that
workers
Use synonyms
 must be given a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical
time
Use synonyms
 for personal benefits,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
this
Linking Words
 is wrong and discourage it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before giving my own opinion. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
workers
Use synonyms
 should be given a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical
time
Use synonyms
 for their personal
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 or studies. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that it helps them to
fresh
Replace the word
freshen
show examples
 their mind after handling too much office work by going on vacations, small trips with family, or holidays with friends. Another reason is that during sabbatical
time
Use synonyms
,
workers
Use synonyms
 do extra studies or research in their field to
make
Verb problem
expand
show examples
further
Linking Words
 scope, which can,
as a result
Linking Words
, benefit both the individual and
Correct article usage
the organization
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organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
.
However
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, others argue that they see no merit and are against it.
This
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 is because many
people
Use synonyms
 are in the queue for that position and can handle the same amount of work as compared
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the other
workers
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, other
people
Use synonyms
 feel demotivated and
bad
Verb problem
feel bad
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 that they are not getting good
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 feels that sabbatical
time
Use synonyms
 is destroying opportunities for those who are more loyal, smart and hardworking. I personally believe that I am against the sabbatical leave because it destroys the chance of a person
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
 is more deserving.
As a result
Linking Words
, they feel bad and demotivated. In conclusion, the first view for some
people
Use synonyms
 will be beneficial, but in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it is all about giving opportunities to
Correct pronoun usage
those which
show examples
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more deserving,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
Punctuation problem
, in
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in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my
perspective
Punctuation problem
perspective,
show examples
 I am against it.

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structure
Make your ideas sit in a clear plan. Start with a short intro, then 2 main ideas, and a short end.
content
Give one or two real examples to back your view.
grammar
Check for small word errors and pick simple, correct phrases.
structure
The essay shows a plan with intro, body and end.
coverage
It talks about both sides and gives a view.
vocabulary
Simple words are used and the read is easy.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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