IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The chart illustrates the proportion of Australian exports to four countries
;
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
, the
USA
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
, and
India
Use synonyms
 from 1990 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 moved from the second lowest to the largest portion of exports over time,
Japan
Use synonyms
 showed a reduction in Australian imports, and the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 were unstable. Exports to
China
Use synonyms
 were approximately 3% in 1990.
This
Linking Words
 proportion increased slowly to 5% in the year 2000, after which there was an upward yearly surge, and by 2012 it was 35%.
Japan
Use synonyms
 ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, was the highest at about 27% in 1990 but experienced a sharp drop to 20% in 1995. Afterwards, it slowly reduced yearly and was about 18% by 2012. The
USA
Use synonyms
 ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, was unstable year on year but experienced an
overall
Linking Words
 reduction from approximately 12% in 1990 to 7% in 2012.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 unstable on a yearly basis, but experienced a general increment from 1% in 1990 to 6% in 2012. In conclusion,
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 had an
overall
Linking Words
 growth in Australian imports,
while
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 showed a general decline in the
22-yearyear
Correct word choice
22-year
show examples
 period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, usa, china, india with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: