IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

TOPIC 12: Some businesses find that new employees finishing education lack basic interpersonal ability such as working with others as a part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? How to solve this problem?

There is
a
Correct article usage
an
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increase
Replace the word
increasing
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 number of new workers who are not fully capable
to perform
Change preposition
of performing
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 their job
affectively
Use the right word
effectively
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.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 main causes
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 online study criteria
due to
Linking Words
 recent deadly viruses, vigorous increase in usage of artificial
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 for tasks and decreased social group activities.
Due to
Linking Words
 these
capabilities
Punctuation problem
capabilities,
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employees
Use synonyms
 lack in skills
such
Linking Words
 as critical thinking
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
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lack
Wrong verb form
lacking
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 in efficiency. As of today, we are highly
depend
Replace the word
dependent
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 on electronic gadgets and artificial
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 to get quick solutions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 people feel that finding a solution to a problem is
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it vanishes the capability of thinking out of the box and finding real solutions. Same in the educational institutions. Students are heavily dependent on pre-existing solutions.
Linking Words
furthermore
Fix capitalization
Furthermore
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, online study criteria
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 made
Correct article usage
a vulnurable
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vulnurable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
 negative impact on diminishing the ability to solve
real
Use the right word
real-life
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life
Use synonyms
 problems and
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 as
group
Correct article usage
a group
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.
Further
Linking Words
 consequences
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 low
self esteem
Use the right word
self-esteem
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 and decreased confidence
while
Linking Words
employees
Use synonyms
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 with real-time customers.
While
Linking Words
 the problems are increasing, there are some measures that hiring
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 can implement to get better
canditates
Correct your spelling
candidates
 with
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 skills and attitude. First and foremost, interviewing the candidate can
aid
Verb problem
help
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 the
company
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
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look for the qualities that the
company
Use synonyms
 needs the most. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 first
impression
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impressions
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the
last
Linking Words
,
business
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businesses
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 can test if the individual has confidence to interact and make quick
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 by giving
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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real
Use the right word
real-life
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life
Use synonyms
 scenarios. Another
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
effective solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem is providing training. Fresh candidates
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 no
hands on real
Use the right word
hands-on real-life
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life
Use synonyms
 work, so they should be provided with complete training, which
further
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to eliminate the risk of making mistakes and
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
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 the policies of the
company
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 that they are
further
Linking Words
 looking
in
Change preposition
into for
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 their
employees
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 nutshell, some people choose to study online
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 some prefer to attend in real
life
Use synonyms
 at institutions
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 both
has got
Wrong verb form
have
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 information from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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books only. They need absolute training
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 interviews should be
mendatory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 to find eligible
canditates
Correct your spelling
candidates
. It will help the
company
Use synonyms
 to maintain
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 reputation and make the
employees
Use synonyms
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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standout
Use the right word
stand out
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 as they have been
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 depending on the skills they have.

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structure
Make each idea clear and connect it to the task. Use a clear plan: causes, then solutions.
content
Give one or two real examples for each main idea to back up your point.
language
Use simple, short sentences. Speak directly.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates the main idea.
planning
Group ideas in two parts. Put causes in one paragraph and solutions in another.
language
Check grammar and spelling to avoid meaning gaps.
content
The essay tries to cover both causes and solutions.
language
Some linking words are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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