IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 different types of fast food in Britain from 1970 to 1990. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 three different types of fast food in the United Kingdom between 1970 and 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
 of fish & chips and
Use synonyms
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 increased sharply
while
Linking Words
 pizza decreased throughout the time period.
According to
Linking Words
 the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 the figures of
Use synonyms
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 and pizza experienced opposite
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
 respectively during the time period.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the expenditure of
Use synonyms
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 started approximately 50
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and it continued to increase slowly at around 100
grams
Use synonyms
 until 1985.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the consumption of
Use synonyms
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 rose dramatically between 1985 and 1990
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it reached 300
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 pizza decreased gradually until 1985
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it remained relatively stable at around 200
grams
Use synonyms
 until 1990. It
is appearance
Wrong verb form
appears
show examples
 that the
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
 of fish and chips experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bigger change than the other fast-food products.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it started at just under 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1970. Afterwards, it continued to rise steadily between 1970 and 1980. Following
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
 the consumption of fish and chips approximately 150
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and it reached at 300
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1985.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure reached
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 500
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1990.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hamburger, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rise
  • grow
  • increase
  • go up
  • climb
  • steady
  • sharp
  • rise steadily
  • fall
  • decrease
  • drop
  • remain
  • stay
  • level off
  • peak
  • high
  • low
  • be higher than
  • be lower than
  • in the end
  • at the start
  • over the period
  • by 1990
  • from 1970 to 1990
  • more than
  • less than
  • compare
  • contrast
  • the most
  • the least
  • overall
  • during the period
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