IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the population figures for different types of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The line graph highlights the number of various kinds of
turtles
Use synonyms
 in India over 32 32-year period between 1980 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, starting with a 100 proportion at the beginning of a given period, all
turtle
Use synonyms
 populations fluctuated over time.
While
Linking Words
 Olive Ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual increase,
Use synonyms
species
Correct article usage
the species
show examples
 of Leatherback and Green
Turtles
Use synonyms
 have fallen significantly.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the proportion of all types of
turtle
Use synonyms
 population has risen gradually up to under 110 within the first six years.
Then
Linking Words
, until 1999, there were significant ups and downs , but ended up the same numbers in figures. After that, the graph dropped to 85 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of all
species
Use synonyms
 throughout the 2000s, followed by a slight increase to around 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
. In detail, figures for the Olive Ridley
turtle
Use synonyms
 population show positive numbers of
species
Use synonyms
, going up to 140 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1997;
however
Linking Words
, it has experienced some fluctuations and ended with over 130 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 trends for the other two
turtle
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
 were still at 100 in 1999 . Having several swings throughout the decrease, Leatherback and Green
turtles
Use synonyms
 dropped to 60 and 90 proportions, respectively , in the year 2012.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words turtles, turtle, species, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: