IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task1: The line graph shows the demand while the second chart show the number of staff in the UK steel industry.

The graph depicts the requirement of the
steel
Use synonyms
 whilst the second line graph illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
staff
Use synonyms
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the UK in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 between 1970 and 2000 . The quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
steel
Use synonyms
 is given
by
Change preposition
in
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 million tonnes
Overall
Linking Words
, both
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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 for
the
Correct word order
steel and the
show examples
steel
Use synonyms
 and
staff
Use synonyms
 quantity decreased UK
steel
Use synonyms
 demand declined
by passing
Verb problem
over the past
show examples
 periods. Both total demand and UK production indicated similar rates, representing a slight decrease from 1970 to 2000, starting from 200 to around 30.
However
Linking Words
, the Import faced
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 0 to 50. By 2000, all trends ended up with around 30-50.
While
Linking Words
staff
Use synonyms
amount
Check wording
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 plummeted
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
 passing years. In 1970, the
staff
Use synonyms
 members were around 50. Albeit, it declined to 1980 by 40.
Use synonyms
Staff
Correct article usage
The staff
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 proportion of the
staff
Use synonyms
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lower
Replace the word
low
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 pitch to 20 in 1990. Almost by 2000, the figure remained steady, but
somehow
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the proportion
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 declined
not particularly low
Rephrase
slightly
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words steel, staff with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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