IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.

In recent years, the crucial environmental issue has been climate change.
This
Linking Words
 problem is evaluated from different perspectives, but it has been proven that its main cause is human use of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means that we should stop burning fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 and replace them with renewable energy sources.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are sure that oil, gas, and coal are substances that society needs for sustainable economic growth. On the one hand, individuals should cut down on consuming non‑renewable energy sources because their excessive use leads to severe environmental destruction, including the depletion of the ozone layer, increased
greenhouse‑gas
Use the right word
greenhouse gas
show examples
 emissions, and the rapid shrinking of glaciers as the climate warms.
For instance
Linking Words
 , the uncontrolled burning of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 in London provoked the Great Smog of 1952, which caused a spike in
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
. It proves that society should strive to alleviate
application
Correct article usage
the application
show examples
 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 avoid irreparable consequences
On the other hand
Linking Words
, generation of sustainable energy may cost a lot of money and influences on economic in the negative way.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2011 Germany
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 with dire economic
crises
Fix the agreement mistake
crisis
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 were afraid to change their habits.
Therefor
Use the right word
Therefore
show examples
, most
people
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
able to afford electric cars and more
people
Use synonyms
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to buy fuel cars
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are much cheaper. In conclusion , I personally think that the idea
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 collapse is
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 misconception because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays modern eco‑friendly production has become a new point of growth for the economy. Many companies invest in clean technologies because they help reduce costs in the long term and improve the quality of products. I am sure that the government must exploit the potential of renewable resources and
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
 in solar, wind, and hydropower projects in order to reduce dependence on fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your essay shows a view and some backs. Add more detail in each point and link it to your view.
coherence
Make your paragraphs start with a clear topic sentence and use simple connect words to join ideas.
grammar
Fix big grammar errors and keep sentences clear. check verbs, plurals and punctuation.
lexis
Use only simple words and keep facts right. Some examples can be clearer and more precise.
content
The essay gives a clear view and tries to discuss both sides.
content
It uses a well known example (Great Smog) to back up a point.
structure
Conclusion states what you think and what to do.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy sources
  • economic collapse
  • fossil fuels
  • solar power
  • wind energy
  • alternative resources
  • clean energy
  • technological advancements
  • government subsidies
  • energy transition
  • reliability
  • job creation
  • economic benefits
  • global warming
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainability
  • innovation
  • infrastructure
  • regulatory framework
  • energy efficiency
  • climate resilience
  • decarbonization
  • socioeconomic impact
  • energy security
What to do next:
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